Thursday, April 4, 2013

A Little Lesson in Laundry

Have you done your laundry this week?  As I was doing mine, I thought that I'd collect some of the most valuable tips I have learned and share them with you.  Sadly, most people don't see laundry as a skill.  In treating it as a simple chore, many housewives have missed the finer points, of which here are but a few.

1. Don't keep reminding family members to clean out their pockets.  Do it yourself!  It provides the housewife with a Source of Income, including the highly valuable Garage Sale Quarters.  Keep an inconspicuous jar or piggy bank in the laundry room to collect your earnings.  I scored with $.97 in one pants pocket alone this week.

2. Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we send a couple of loose pairs of pantyhose through the wash cycle.  Add a bra or two and you have the makings for a family puzzle night.

3. Speaking of undergarments, be strategic about hanging it on the line.  Yes, you may have gotten fabulous clearance deals on underwear following the most recent holiday.  But remember, your neighbor won't be able to look at you in the eye when you see him around town.  He'll be wondering if you're wearing the St. Patrick's Day underwear with "Lucky" splashed across the backside or perhaps those Christmas wonders with candy canes that say "fa la la la la" all over.  Or maybe the cheapie panties you love that sag in the backside or have lost any sense of elasticity.   We all give our neighbors reasons to question our sanity, but let's not encourage the rumor mill run any faster.

The Distracted Housewife hanging laundry.  Note absence of undies on the line.
4. And for yet another thought on this same topic... When tossing underwear into the washer, make sure one leg is not caught over the center agitator.  Those panties will never fit you the same again.  Unless of course, you have a disorder in which one thigh is 8 times the size of the other, in which case finding underwear is just one of your many problems.  (Note: This is not simply a theory.)

Now, armed with this newly-discovered wealth of knowledge--let's get to that laundry with renewed vigor, housewives!!

This post linked to Simple Lives Thursday, WholeHearted Home Wednesday and Homestead Barn Hop.


  1. oh how funny! Silly me should've been keeping a jar for change all along! I also have to check for gum!!!!!

  2. Ha ha! You had me laughing out loud with those!

  3. Glad you enjoyed it....I had fun writing it, too!

  4. This reminds me of something... My 90something yr. old neighbor use to hang her clothes on the line. One of her family members, as a joke, gave her this HUMUNGOUS pair of panties one time as a present. Now, you have to understand that she probably weighed 90 lbs. soaking wet!~ lol
    Well, one day I looked out and there were all her teeny, tiny undies hung out and then this HUGE Pair!~ HA! HA~~ It was hilarious.
    Her grandkids use to drive by her house and they'd call her and say, "Granny, you have a leaf in your yard, you'd better get out there and pick it up before someone sees it". She was just so meticulous and neat. Miss her so much. I learned a lot from that lady.
    Glad I found your blog via The Farmers Wife. :)

    1. I LOVE that story, Sandra! Thanks for sharing it. (Don't you love the Farmer's Wife books?!)

  5. Oh how I laughed and laughed! Thank you so much for that this morning. :) I'm glad I found you through the homestead hop. I've been a jar-in-the-laundry-room keeper for years now. I told my husband all money found when I do laundry is considered my tip. ;)

    1. A nice laugh in the morning is a very good thing...I'm glad you liked it. :)